Someday we shall laugh at the absurd-ness of this

The name calling. The vicious bitching behind each others' backs. The telling of tales, and harsh words about each other spoken. Angry outburts. Incredulous fury. Sputtering speeches and speechless silences.

I am not sure why our relationship disintegrated the way it did in the past month or so. I don't why he felt it necessary to call me names in the first place. I don't know why I felt I had to retaliate. I don't know why he had to attack innocent friends and bring them into something that was not their doing, instead of coming straight to me for an answer. I don't know why he'd rather curse me to my friends, rather than saying it to my face. I don't how a friendship that seemed so promising earlier has turned into angry dust. I don't know how we came to this.

Yesterday, I spluttered in fury at his actions, at his second-hand words. Yesterday, I renounced him and lost all remaining respect I had for the person that he could be. Yesterday, I hated him and thought nothing but ill of him. Yesterday, I raged.

Today, I prayed for the ability to forgive him for his doings, and me for my unjust thoughts. Today, I prayed for the patience and calmness needed to deal with his words, to deal with him. Today, I hoped for detachment, and pity for the person that he is. Today, I thought of the year ahead and the things I want to accomplish. Today, I told myself he could no longer be a part of my future, of my life. Today, I begin the process of detachment. Today, he is no longer visible to me. Today, he is but a fading, unwanted memory.

Someday, I shall laugh at the absurd-ness of this.