"That'll do, Pig. That'll do."

The room which Jason normally occupies on his rare visits home has been turned into an impromptu storage room.

"Oi, have to go buy mattress. Jason no place to sleep afterwards," Mum said to Dad, after dinner.

"Aiyah. Cannot relak first kah?!" Dad complained.

"Come on lah. Late already. Everything close afterwards," Mum said, gesturing at him.

You know what the funny thing is? Jason is in Malaysia for only two weeks, and of those fourteen days, he will be sleeping in this house a maximum of five nights. There are seven bedrooms in this warehouse of a family home. Three are being occupied at the moment, two are storage rooms. That leaves us with two bedrooms Jason can plonk his things in and rest his stubborn head at night.

Mum has ignored this, and dragged Dad out to look for the perfect mattress for the First Born Son.

Oi, I'm the eldest lah, only daughter pulak! Where is my fatted calf?!

Jason is 22 going on 35. I'm 23 going on 18. We can't take each other anywhere.

It's very embarassing.