A kingdom, a kingdom! My kingdom for a rich, moist chocolate cake, with rich chocolate icing! Actually, I'm none too fussy. Anything chocolate-y will do. Milo-lah, Vienese hot chocolate-lah with decadent whipped cream, brownies, Mars bars, chocolate bars, frothed milk with sprinkled chocolate, apa-apa saja pun boleh, selagi iya chocolate! I need to get through this awful menstrual phase.

Puhhhlease, chocolate for this chocolate-starved woman. Puhlease, have mercy on this poor chocolate-starved soul. Puhlease, I am on my knees. Please, dear gods, some chocolat for moi.

Look, an entire page of chocolate cake recipes.