Dear, dear, dear, dearest you,

I am blue today. I am blue and tired. I am grey and shattered. How are you, dearest you, though? How was your day? Did you have a warm, sunshiney day? Did you smile at the world? Did you lift your face and felt the sun's love, and through him, mine?

When I left home, the sun was smiling weakly, and so I smiled weakly. By the time I got to where I was meant to be, though, the sun had given up and gone home to bed. I walked through the gentle weeping rain, all the way to where I was meant to be. I walked all that way, hurrying because I was almost late, and lost my weak weak smile. I stopped awhile, on my way, to gather the leaves of Everyday, and heard from them, talk of lost indifferent souls. There, I lost a little heart, and with the loss, the sugar coated walls began to melt from the inside.

The rain is still weeping, the wind a gentle melancholy sigh. I lift my face and feel no warmth, only the cool cool sweep of indifference and the burden of tasks. The tears are clogging my throat again, choking the words I know that are there. But of course, I may not cry, and thus, the words shall never be spoken.

I never did, never could, bare my soul to you in any way. In a way, I thought I never had to. Shhh now. Don't speak, don't say a word. I don't need you to offer me words. I just need only you. You never quite understood that need. I don't, either.

I miss your presence, dear dear dearest you. I miss the very essence of you, the softness that you sometimes disguise with embarrased laughter, and pretended hardness. I miss everything that I remember about you. I miss even your biting cynicism and the simmering anger. But never mind that now. Half of what I remember, anyway, are rose coloured visions of you.

What are your news, dear dearest you? It's been so long since we spoke, since we shared, since we laughed together. How does your garden grow? Have you grown a little pudgy, a little wise, a little carefree? Have you loved, have you lived, have you told your mother you loved, appreciated her? Did you laugh, did you forgive, did you let yourself be human?

I am tremendously busy being busy. My days are are packed from sun up, to sun down. I laugh a great deal, I make people laugh a great deal. But I have not cried in a while. I am living in every way that I can, experiencing everything that I could possibly experience with the days that have been given me. I fear I am getting a little pudgy, and I am constantly wondering where my money has gone. I am a little wiser now than I was, a little more carefree, I hope. But I have not cried in a while.

Oh, the sun has come out, dear dearest you. I must go and play with him for a while. Then, I shall go and meet some souls for a Greek dinner and perhaps, I shall feel canary yellow again.

I love you, dear dearest you. Good night.