Jason and I had a flaming fight (harsh words said, things thrown, tempers lost) over something inconsequential last night. Now, we're not speaking to each other.

All that disagreeable anger, despair, pain, hurt - it spilled over, and little ugly things emerged. Hatred. Resentment. Jealousy. Violence. Self-righteousness. 'Woe is me, and death onto you' thoughts. Ugly, ugly thoughts. Triggered by an explosion of emotion, to be centred at a boy who meant so much to me, once.

I do not like myself very much right now.